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HEART HEIST: In Daring Raid, Florida Man Steals Maine Girl’s Heart
Or is it the other way around?
Palm Beach, FL; Hartford, CT; Portland, ME (AP)
In what can only be described as an act of romantic delirium, Jonathan Hendrix, 37, of Boynton Beach, Florida made out (err, off) with Elise Dunphe, a schoolteacher from Hartford, CT. The audacious absconsion occurred in July and August 2019, in what police are calling “a really nice story.” At least that’s what they would say. No one called the police.
In a surprising twist, however, it was learned that Mr. Hendrix’s supposed “victim” was, in fact, his accomplice. In a stunning turn of events worthy of an M. Night Shyamalan film, it appears that Miss Dunphe actually kidnapped herself.
Over the course of weeks of clandestine late-night texting, the plan was hastily hatched. The two were scheduled to rendezvous at Disney World in February, but as their conversations continued, they realized that they would have to act much more quickly.
“I’d been talking with him more frequently since he ran off to Spain in May, and thought we might make good travel partners,” Miss Dunphe said coyly. “But I also quickly realized that we had so many things in common, and I couldn’t stop thinking about his smile. And I’d always remembered that time he took me to the swing dance party in college… He was so much fun to be with, and it was probably the best date I’d been on.”
Miss Dunphe, 2004 
Mr. Hendrix, 2004
“I’d had to resist the urge to blurt out ‘MARRY ME!’ several times during our ongoing conversations. It was just so strange – we have literally everything in common. We’ve known each other for 19 years, and we never realized that each other’s soulmate was figuratively standing right next to the other,” Hendrix said.
The two college friends did indeed have a lot in common, from acquiring new hobbies and creating new recipes to loving Corgis and wanting to build their own furniture. They hope to build upon these common interests in the years to come, but they provided a pretty solid foundation upon which to construct a strong relationship.
“Fortunately, I waited a little while to blurt out that ‘Marry me’ – a few weeks, at least. Even that seemed like an eternity.”
“When she told me she couldn’t wait to see me, I knew that I felt the same,” Hendrix recalled. “I offered to drive to Connecticut to see her, but once we established that she’d never been to Florida, I suggested that she come there. I wanted to give her a nice vacation before she started back teaching.”
Two days later, after two flights and a mad dash through the Atlanta airport, she was there.
“I knew she had somewhere really important to be,” said Sandwich Man, an airport trolley driver who heroically dropped his sub sandwich and sprang into action when a frenzied Miss Dunphe ran to him with minutes to get to her connecting gate. “I wasn’t gonna let her miss that flight.” Valiantly, he made good on his promise. A ceremony honoring his dedication is planned, should the couple ever run into him at the Atlanta airport again.
Crisis averted, Jonathan showed Elise around South Florida, taking her to art galleries and the botanical garden, playing mini-golf, floating together in the ocean, and cooking together. But the coup de grace came when Dunphe baked for him her signature peach pie.
“I mean, who wooed whom here?” Hendrix questioned. “She’s the one who slayed me with pie. It just wasn’t even fair. From then on, I was defenseless.”
Hendrix’s chance to return the favor came soon thereafter when, on August 31, 2019, he sprang his trap. Having made good on his intention to fly to Connecticut, the pair visited Dunphe’s childhood home in Portland, Maine.
While touring the local area, he continually asked Dunphe if each was her favorite stretch of coastline. “No, not yet,” came her consistent reply. When they finally reached Spring Point, a bluff overlooking Portland Harbor, her answer changed to “yes.” He grabbed the stealthily-hidden ring, dropped to one knee, and presented it to her.
“Yes,” was her reply. At least, this reporter hopes it was. Otherwise, this whole thing would be a liiiittle awkward…
Shortly thereafter, Mr. Hendrix packed everything he owned in his car, said goodbye to his home of five years, and made the 2,000 mile drive north to Hartford, where the couple now live.
“Things are wonderful,” he said. “I gave up a lot, but I got everything I ever wanted in return. Sometimes you have to take a risk to get where you’re supposed to be in life. But I never had any doubt that this was the right thing. When something feels so effortless, you just know it was truly meant to be. You just know, like how you know a good melon. Ya know?”
A good melon, indeed.